Parents' heartache after 'loved and so wanted' IVF baby died just days old

Earlier this year, Fiona and Luke Gibbons, of Bowthorpe, Norwich, suffered the “most devastating experience possible”.

Baby Ava weighed just 1lb 13oz when she was born prematurely after 24 weeks and five days, in January 2022.

She surprised doctors with her strength, despite having under-developed lungs and being on a ventilator the whole time.

However, she died within a month of being born.

One of the few family photographs the Gibbons now cherish (Image: Each)

Mrs Gibbons, 39, a postgraduate research officer at the University of East Anglia, said: “Ava was our first child and meant the absolute world to us.

“She was born prematurely, which was incredibly frightening for us. I went to the hospital after some discomfort and she was born within an hour and a half.

“From the start, Ava was feisty and a real fighter. She came out moving her arms and legs and even gave a little squeal, which is apparently unusual for such a premature baby.

“She was a wriggler through and through, always moving around - even when the doctors and nurses had given something to sedate her.

“They were constantly amazed by her strength and she won over the nurses with her cheekiness.

“She had the most beautiful eyes and a surprisingly thick head of soft strawberry blonde hair.

“I got to hold her for the first time on day 13 and they were the most special three hours of my life. The next time we got to hold her was in the hours before she died.”

Baby Ava Gibbons (Image: Each)

Ava spent her entire life in the neonatal intensive care unit (Nicu) at the Norfolk and Norwich University Hospital.

Mr Gibbons, 42, added: “For us, the hardest thing about that was all the beeps and alarms.

“We never knew what they meant and you didn’t know whether to be worried or not.

“Having to leave her behind each day was heart-wrenching, but we knew we had to try and look after ourselves, too.

“We were thinking in the long term, hoping Ava would eventually come home with us. Had we known we would have such a short time with her, we would have spent every minute we could with her.”

Special memories of Ava for Luke and Fiona Gibbons (Image: Each)

When the end came, everything happened quickly and the couple stayed at the N&N to say their goodbyes.

“Before we knew it, we were being told Ava would not survive and everything happened within 17 hours,” said Mrs Gibbons.

“This has been the most devastating experience possible.

“Ava was so loved and such a wanted child.

“Having tried to conceive for so long, after a long road of infertility and IVF treatment, we were so excited to plan this next step in our lives. We feel lost without her and our lives feel like they have stopped.”

The couple was referred to East Anglia’s Children’s Hospices (Each) by the family care team at the hospital and have described the charity’s support as “vital”, sharing that the charity is helping them put their lives back together.

Fiona Gibbons at the Norwich Bubble Rush in July (Image: Each)

The couple have since thrown themselves into fundraising, supporting both the Nicu at the hospital and Each.

“We want to ensure that Ava’s life continues to makes a difference,” said Mr Gibbons, who also works at the UEA, as head of undergraduate admissions.

“We raised nearly £2,400 for the Nicu in the early days and it’s going to help them to improve the facilities in one of the bedrooms for families who have to go through what we did.

“Fiona also did the Norwich Bubble Rush in July with ‘Ava’s Army’ and they raised over £500 for Each.”

• For more information about Each, including forthcoming events and how you can help raise funds, visit each.org.uk or call the Norfolk fundraising office on 01508 500894.
• To pay tribute to a loved one email norfolktributes@archant.co.uk
• To read more obituaries and tributes join the Facebook group Norfolk's Loved & Lost.