The mum of a woman who took her own life is speaking out about the potential links between suicide and menopause.
Victoria Metcalf-Smith took her own life in April 2021, having suffered a dramatic change of mood while entering her menopause. She was 51.
Her mum, Heather Metcalf, says her daughter had no previous history of mental illness, but required hospital admission for her own safety in summer 2019.
The mother-of-three, who died in Norwich, worked as a solicitor in commercial property and was described by her mother was "conscientious, capable, matter of fact and efficient in her professional career, with an analytical, incisive mind".
But after entering the menopausal stage of her life in early 2019 she began to feel stressed and overwhelmed at work, complaining of sleeplessness and brain fog.
She was then diagnosed with a severe depressive episode with psychotic symptoms.
Mrs Metcalf said: "Prior to this, Victoria never displayed any of the tendencies that might result in the condition that was to overwhelm her between 2019 and 2021.
"She was always measured and unflappable, a calm and safe pair of hands in a crisis.
"This was what makes the last two years' experience so atypical of her. As a mother, she cared deeply for her children and loved and supported them throughout school and beyond."
Mrs Metcalf Smith sought the help of her GP after researching conditions of perimenopause, but this was discounted and she was prescribed medication, which her mother said had "unpleasant and unacceptable side effects."
She added: "She was briefly prescribed diazepam and shortly thereafter, finding no benefit in this treatment, became increasingly distressed and felt she was failing her family.
"She was a high achiever who expected the best of herself at all times, which eventually she could no longer manage without appropriate medical help, although her family were supportive and extremely concerned throughout."
She attempted to take her own life on three occasions in autumn 2020, before eventually dying in April 2021.
An inquest into her death held in January returned a conclusion of suicide, with her both her family and her private psychologist adamant that perimenopause was significantly impacting on her mental wellbeing.
Mrs Metcalf added: "She had emailed a member of the team to explain her views on this possibility after considerable research into the subject. But she did not receive a reply."
A report published following her death said: "At the time of her death, Victoria was presenting on the surface as functioning and nominally ‘well’.
"It is important to acknowledge that assessment of her was complicated by her ability to present a good picture on the face of things.”
And in an effort to raise awareness of the issue, Mrs Metcalf and Mrs Metcalf Smith's husband Pete will be joining a panel to debate the links between menopause and suicide later this month.
The event, which will be held online on Tuesday, March 15 from midday until 1pm, is the latest in a series of suicide prevention discussions being hosted by the Norfolk and Suffolk NHS Foundation Trust.
Also joining the panel will be Dr Louise Newson, a specialist who is well known through television and social media as The Menopause Doctor.
She said: "Every day, I hear from perimenopausal and menopausal women who are suffering with psychological effects of their low hormones.
"These include symptoms such as low mood, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, feelings of low self-esteem and reduced self-worth.
“Many women describe feeling flat and joyless but, for some women, these symptoms can be much more severe and frightening."
Liz Howlett, suicide prevention lead at NSFT said: "The live suicide prevention session was one of the recommendations from Victoria’s inquest.
"We have been holding suicide awareness events like this for over a year, both for our staff and extended to the public, and are so appreciative that Victoria’s mum and husband and Dr Louise Newson have agreed to join us for this one, which will be open to the public.”
For details on the event visit nsft.nhs.uk/trust-events
Where to get support
Support for people going through menopause can be found at the following websites:
Menopausesupport.co.uk
Thebms.org.uk
Menopauseandme.co.uk
Menopausedoctor.co.uk
Themenopausecharity.org
Thedaisynetwork.org
If you need help and support, call Norfolk and Suffolk Foundation Trust’s First Response helpline 0808 196 3494 or the Samaritans on 116 123. Both services are available 24 hours 7 days a week. You can also download the Stay Alive app on Apple & Androi
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