I often think we should make new year’s resolutions at the start of the academic year rather than the calendar one.
This is, after all, the time of so many exciting beginnings in a way that January never is.
Many of you will have grandchildren starting school or university. It’s also the season when we consider starting a course of some kind, or joining a class, club, choir or community theatre.
And this is good, because no matter how gregarious and active we are in the spring and summer, it’s all too easy for us to do less in autumn and winter and become more solitary – and indeed lonely.
Now, I’m not saying that being alone and being lonely are the same thing. Often, we enjoy space and time to ourselves and do lots of amazing things with it. But in the dark, dank months of the year, it’s not unusual for our aloneness to increase, and then to morph into loneliness remarkably quickly.
No one wants to admit to being lonely. But trust me, vast number of adults are, and this should be avoided at all costs, because experts claim loneliness is as bad for us as smoking, obesity and inactivity. They also say that social isolation makes us more prone to premature death from all causes, and that being lonely often causes depression, and increases the risk of stroke by 32pc and heart disease by 29pc.
This means that, as we age, we need to be vigilant about how much of our lives we spend on our own.
I think it’s important too for people who are carers, or in less than happy relationships, to do everything possible to have more of a social life because, despite living with someone, they frequently feel very lonely indeed.
So, I honestly believe that early September is the best time to resolve to engage more with other people and new activities. If you leave it till the clocks go back and the days and nights begin to blur into perpetual darkness, you’ll have less inclination to improve things.
Now, at this moment, you might be thinking that you have a full social life and you’ll be fine because it won’t change much in the next few months. Maybe you’re still having spontaneous barbecues with neighbours and walking at the coast regularly and going to a variety of outdoor events and visiting gardens. But could I ask you to cast your mind back to mid-October last year when the first of a series of storms came in, and to remember how our lives changed utterly.
Many of us, you’ll recall, were forced to stay at home far more than we wanted to and were pretty miserable about it.
This, therefore, would be the ideal time to plan regular commitments for the next few months which are sociable and stimulating, and near enough home to get to when the weather’s bad. If you establish this new routine now you’re less likely to succumb to loneliness and the winter blues later on.
The other point I want to raise is that many of us believe we have enough regular commitments because we have a healthy circle of good pals all around us and we do different things with different people on different days. The only problem with this belief is that life does not stand still; men and women of our age suddenly get ill, or stop going out at night, or move away to be near their grandchildren.
If we simply depend upon what we’re used to and never add any extra components to it, we may suddenly be left with a diminished social network. For that reason, I think we all need to make resolutions to add more individuals or activities to what we do currently.
You may say that you can’t find the time for any extras, but I reckon most of us can if we try.
Take my friend Amy. She’s been divorced for years but always considered her social life to be buoyant.
However, a few months ago a widow moved in next door to her, and they quickly hit it off and became good mates. The widow, a very proactive woman, was keen to learn about all the nearby walks in her new location. And she wanted to sample local pubs and cafes, try the cinema, get involved in the WI and sign up with the library.
Suddenly, Amy found herself allocating time for participating in these activities with her new friend. To her surprise she found she could fit a lot more into her routine, and realised she’d been in a bit of a rut and was now having more fun than she’d had in years.
I’m telling this story because it shows how when some exciting and attractive new event, person, or situation stirs up our existence, we usually find the energy and time to accommodate it and are glad we did.
So, let’s fill our days and evenings with satisfying occasions that keep us in touch with other like-minded people, and ensure that no matter how dark, damp and cold the winter is, it’s not a lonely one.
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