‘I cannot say it gets any easier’ - Norfolk mum who lost her son in Boxing Day tsunami 10 years ago today

Thai and foreign tourists flock a pier as they wait to be evacuated from the famous resort island of Phi Phi in Krabi province, southern Thailand. AP Photo/Apichart Weerawong.

Everywhere Debbie Hurren looks she is confronted with a life her son won't lead, people he won't see, television shows that will never entertain him, conversations she will never have.

The tragic suddenness of her son's death thousands of miles from home on palm-fringed Phi Phi island has defined, shaken and isolated the mother of three who has determined to carry on despite the 'shadow of sadness' that informs her every move.

Suffering with her nerves she is still plagued by flashbacks and beset by 'what if' scenarios in which her son escapes the disaster and walks back through the front door in Avenue Road, Gorleston where they lived before he set off on his Thailand adventure.

Today like every other Boxing Day she will lay flowers on James's grave at Gorleston crematorium and then shut herself away until the most awful of hours tick by. 'I just cannot be around people that day,' she said.

Over the years she has watched every documentary scanning the grainy images for a glimpse of her son but will turn away from the television this year as a new clutch of anniversary programmes endlessly recycle the footage and revisit some of the stories.

'I am trying to tell myself I have my little grandson but this year is particularly hard. I saw James in the morgue and have flashbacks and if I hear anything on the TV about the tsunami it breaks my heart. I struggle with my nerves and it has killed me inside. When the New Year comes in and I know that his body was found I can say to myself 'start again.'

'I have to live with it but I cannot say it gets any easier. Perhaps I cope a bit better than I did.'

James travelled to Thailand with his friend Bin Tyler in search of sun-drenched excitement and new experiences with vague plans of helping children abroad at some time in the future.

That he was there on that fateful day and didn't leave the island with Bin the night before is a source of frustration and sorrow.

But that his body was found and brought home giving her a focus for her grief brings some comfort.

For this Mrs Hurren, 54, counts herself among the 'lucky' few who were able to bury their children.

'I was so relieved they found his body rather than never find it at all. I just wanted him home and we did get him home so we were actually a lot luckier than a lot of other people who never found the bodies. It is so sad.'

James was the eldest of three boys born to Debbie and her former husband Dale, who visited the island in the aftermath helping the local people with the rebuilding of schools, personally delivering donations and gifts.

His shocking death at the age of 22 has shattered everyone who knew him. For his mother and brothers, Daniel and Thomas, as well as his father it is a grief they wear with pride and dignity - but one that will never go away.

Flicking through the family album is both pleasure and pain. As a baby he was 'full of beans' and a 'happy, funny' child.

'He wasn't just my son and he wasn't just their brother, he was so much more to all of us and many others. He took me shopping and was a very caring son. We had great conversations and he was always there for his brothers.'

Daniel, now 30, lives at home while Tom, 26, has his own flat and a son with Jade - TJ James. The two-and-a-half year old has been a welcome boost to the family helping them to refocus on the future.

'If I did not have him (TJ) I would have folded up completely.

'I often look at the door and think James is going to walk through it. There is a presence in my house and that presence is him. I will never leave.'